then i was scared
that you would be so mad
that you'd leave me
but you didnt
and you came and held me in your arms
making fun of my drunk/high ass...

you said you told me you'd be busy
that you were out of town
and all this other nonsense
that i really didn't want to pay attention to
because i wanted to be right
...even if it was breaking and entering/vandalism...
but that's beside the point.
the point is
i love you, but

its not fair that i drive an hour to see you every weekend
its not fair that i got fired from my night job
just to fix my stupidity
its not fair that you won't meet my boss
so you can get a good job
and what about michael?
he's your ride.
why can't I be your ride?
Ever think about that?
Its not fair that you two do everything together...
It's not fair that I'm moving there to be closer to you
More involved in your life

God I hated how you looked down on me
Your jaw muscle rippling under the skin
Your arms folded
My arms folded but my legs shaking
As I cried and tried to explain my stupidity away
I'm a crazy
A loony bin
I said I didn't want you to leave me
You said "I came back, didn't I?"
Then you hold me in your arms
And tell me not to cry 'cause its okay
But its not okay
I'm a loony
And that's not fair, either.

I'm laughing at myself right now
I'm so in love that I hate it
Maybe I tried to fuck things up
To see how you'd react
I don't know my reasoning
But I really am happy by your side
So I don't see why I have to be like this
You don't want me dependent on my medicine
But maybe that is what it takes
Maybe...

Nine days of high school left in my life
Then a week before graduating
And another few weeks before moving out
...Whenever I can come up with $350 to turn the power back on.
Wasted my money this weekend
On a good time
Hardly have any gas
Wondering how I'm gonna make it through
Praying my boss will have mercy on me
Buy me some gas or something...

One and One for All..

leave |me| alone

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