Existing
...written on 2006-09-22, @ 11:55 a.m.
i'm in EAST..
a computer class, obviously.
free friday.
i miss soulmate...
but when do i stop missing her?
i have not had much sleep lately..
I feel estranged from my boyfriend
I never see him
I'm always working
And I dont have the time for him
Yet, we make time.
Now he has a job... and I wont have the chance of seeing him.
You know what I mean.
I guess I simply feel like typing.
It's been a while since I've had much to say.
Life is just so...
Monotonous, lately.
I can't help but think I'm going to end up leaving here
And ending this relationship with him
Yes, he is sweet.
It's a month on Sunday.
Craziness, I guess. The time is flying by.
I'm just living up my senior year.
Senior...
Yeah, about that...
It has a nice ring to it, does it not?
I have a sophomore underling
She craves my attention
She called me master.
Joking? I think not.
I'm different now, not so the same
And yet, so the same
To soulmate.
Soulmate and I have a bond like no other.
Ive been wanting to bake for the past week now
I just have yet to get around to it.
Maybe some cookies or something.
I'm going in to work tonight.
Hopefully for two hours only.
If I must I'll walk out.
I want my boyfriend to come over and spend time with me.
It's all about needing and wanting and emotions
Trophy girlfriend or not,
I'm glad I'm not alone, as usual.
Except, I am.
Alone, that is... Inside my head.
[[I think Donny might change that, but he is not a reality.]]
If I could, I would stop speaking, stop thinking, and all of that thinking and speaking to myself.
I want to do something that matters
I have potential
I could go places
Do things
Meet people...
And how?
Everything inside me screams "I want to do SOMETHING that MATTERS"
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