take my life

9:15.
On break.. talking to katie on the phone..
She says call her in 5...
But boy calls.

walk on my soul

"I came by to see you last night..
Actually, to get dinner.
But they didn't have the chicken I wanted.
Then they told me I had to wait 13 and a HALF minutes.
Not just 13. They had to add the half.
Tell them they lost me as a customer.
Church's is fuckin better than Popeyes.
But.. you know if you were there..
I mean, an ugly old lady took my order last night
At least you're good to look at.
I'm not going to lie. You're hott.
Anyway...
Can't believe you're not off work yet!
You should go ask to get off.
I've got tomorrow off, so if you wanna hang...
If you dont come over soon I'll get drunk without you.
And.. I dont regret what happened the last time we saw eachother.
I was just upset you didn't tell me how old you were.
For all I know you could've gotten pissed at me
Then gone to your mom and said 'he licked my ass and I didn't want him to!'
Heh.. But really.."
"You know I'm not that stupid"
"I know, I mean, you're fuckin cool..
You need to come over!"
"Do you miss me?"
"I mean I'm not tryin to g.."
"It's cool. I'll see what I can do."
"Hey.. you know that blog you wrote about the guy you met... Was that about me?"
"It's quite possible."
"Hmm.."
"well anyway, i'mma get back to work."

lover will suffocate

All smiles, I return to work.
get off at 10.
Go home, get changed.
Boy calls.
Then makes excuse to hang up on me
After informing me he's piss drunk.

desire for more

I arrive at boy's apartment.
Knock; twice.
No answer.
I walk in, and he's laying on the couch.
Remove my shoes, he moves his feet so I can sit.
Shoves remote in my hand and tells me I can watch whatever.
Then remarks on how it's been too long since he's seen me..
He lays down and asks me to join him
Then he wraps his arms around me
And five minutes later he's snoring.
I can smell the alcohol on his breath...

forget the world

I watch some random shows on tv stars..
listening to his heart, and the sound of his snoring.
I can't help but smile.
He wakes up...
Turns the tv off..
We go to his room and climb in bed..
12:00 a.m.

play dead..

1:23 a.m...
He asks if I need my pillow
But I've got it.
He pulls me close and I lay my head on his chest
Listening to his heart
Inhaling the sweet scent of alcohol
I can feel his drowsy, drunken blood pump through him under my fingertips..

just when everything was making sense...

6:30 a.m.
He's sound asleep
And he's got me in a chokehold..
I feel like a stuffed toy..
Everytime I move away,
he reaches out to make sure I'm still there.
He rolls over.. And I rest my hand on his back..
Next to him
I feel so flawed

everything is falling through

7:38 a.m.
My phone vibrates
There's a voicemail from little sister
So I call her and tell her I'll be home soon.
He wakes up and puts his arm across my stomach.
"good morning.. sleep well?"
"mmm.. no. it's fucking 8 in the morning. I've got all day ahead of me."
"heh.. lucky you."
He rolls over and tries to go back to sleep.

the chase is all you know

8:20.
I get dressed.
Tell him I'm leaving and lean in to kiss him goodbye..
Twice..
He tells me to be safe.. not to drive crazy and stuff like that..
I say "sweet dreams.."
Leave his room..
Take the keys..
Drive home...

temporarily pacified

Home.
Alone and empty again..
Going over last night on replay
I dont know what this is..
i miss soulmate.

I've come to understand
that kiss was quite
impossible

leave |me| alone

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